


Body Language

by CarlyLovesLarry



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Louis, High School AU, M/M, Punk!Louis, Top Harry, Top!Harry, bottom!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-24 20:00:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2594600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarlyLovesLarry/pseuds/CarlyLovesLarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Louis chewed on his bottom lip and looked out the window and at the evening sky. He hoped that maybe, this could be the start of a friendship. But he didn't care if not. He still hated him a little."</p><p>OR where Louis is a badass in high school with his own band and he just wants to live life how he wanted, but unfortunately the new kid messes it all up. Or, maybe he makes it better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Body Language

**Author's Note:**

> OH MY FUCKING GOPD I SPENT 10 YEARS WORKING ON THIS DAMN THINBG AND I NOT EVEN GONNA BETA IT BECAUSE OIT TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH I JUST WANNA POST IT THANK YOU FOR READING BYE
> 
> also if you have any tags that I should tag it as pls tell me thank you

"Louis, I don’t think you really need a job. I mean, your mom pretty much pays for everything so why not embrace it?" Zayn asked, picking a fry off of Louis’ try and popping it into his mouth. Though he was his friend, it pissed Louis off that he would even think that way. He wasn’t just gonna take advantage of his mom like that, he loved her to death and she had been supporting him his whole life, and now that he was almost eighteen, he was ready to start taking care of himself. He had never even once thought about using her money or time for anything, not even if she had insisted on it. He liked being able to support himself, anyways.

Louis looked over at his friend’s profile, his hair dark as night (is that a valid comparison ???) and his jawline sharp as ever. He was a handsome guy, really, with olive skin and strong features. His eyes were brown with light specs of caramel in them, and even thinking of the way that they looked in the sun could take his breath away. Even though he didn’t particularly feel anything for him, he wasn’t afraid to acknowledge the fact that he was hot as Hell.

"No, I’m not gonna do that. Anyways, since the group is starting to get noticed and known, it’d be nice if I could rack up some more cash for better equipment and stuff. I don’t think your dad’s old microphones are gonna work much longer." Louis then imitated the noise that the mics would make spontaneously in the middle of a song, which made Zayn grimace and nod.

"Right. Hey, maybe you can ask Alex if his dad is still looking for help down at the garage. You are good with cars and such and I’m sure they’d love your help down there, even if you’re just handing them tools."

Louis shrugged, because it was a good idea, but he needed to be able to have flexible hours because of the gigs that they might be having. And even though Alex’s dad was a nice man and would be willing to do that for him, he didn’t want to inconvenience him in any way. He might check it out though. Just to see.

"Louis! Yoo hoo!"

Louis sighed and clenched his jaw as a girl with long, wavy brown hair came up to him, her glasses almost falling off as she stopped. “I’ve been looking for you.” She giggled, flipping her hair and batting her eyelashes.

"Oh, have you?" Louis mused sarcastically, looking to Zayn for help, but he had already ran away, no longer in sight. He sighed and looked at her, her eyes big and smile wide. "Cassandra-"

"YES I’LL GO TO THE MOVIES WITH YOU." She shouted, bouncing on the balls of her feet and twirling a stand of her long locks. Cassandra was one of the only fans that RedDawn had (that’s the name of the band, lesser known at that). And though he was really appreciative of everything that she did and said, he wasn’t into her ‘that way’. And she really would never ever back down.

"No, Cassandra, I’m not taking you to the movies. I’ve told you a million times, I. Am. Gay. Play for the other team, out of the closet, I like DICK, Cassandra." He sighed, grabbing his face and sighing. It was well known around the school now and he thought she might catch the hint. But apparently, not.

"Mmhmm, yeah, suuuure you are. I’ll get you one day, Tomlinson, don’t even think that I won’t." She said before motioning the ‘I’ll be watching you’ with her hand and strutting away. That girl, gosh. She was really sweet and everything and actually never ever talked to Louis until he changed his look and he started the band. But he wasn’t gonna be mean to her or anything. He knew she’d get over him one day.

"That was a close one, eh?" Zayn came up behind Louis and shook his head. Louis slapped him in the back of his head and started walking to their usual spot to sit for lunch. But when they reached it, sitting underneath the tree was a kid. Some random kid he’d never seen before just sitting in his spot, eating a sandwich, just sitting there. Where this guy came from he had no idea, but he knew he was gonna hate him by the curls atop his head and the way he looked like such a goody-two-shoes. Wearing his button up dress shirt and khaki pants and nerd shoes and everything, he looked like. Like one of those kids who would do extra credit just for fun and would share his fruit with you.

"Zayn what the fuck." Louis spat, eyeing the guy down and hoping to whatever God there was that he would just move. But he didn’t. He just sat there chewing his sandwich and bobbing his head and it pissed Louis off so much and he had no idea why.

Before Zayn could even manage a word out Louis was storming over to him, his eyes sharp and his lips pursed. He coughed to get the kid’s attention, and Hell, did he get it. He looked up at him with wide eyes the color of the leaves of an oak tree in spring, his cheeks full and his lips in a proper pout. And fuck, he was cute, and that pissed Louis off even more, because he hated this kid already and now he was cute and for some reason it made it even worse.

"Can I help you?" He asked in a somber tone, a corner of his mouth turning up. Louis was fuming, his shoulders tense and his eyebrows furrowed, and he hoped he looked intimidating with his black skinnies and leather jacket and boots and piercings (one on his left eyebrow, one in his nose and another on his lip. He liked the way they made him feel.) and fringed hair, but he probably just looked like some punk twink from the porn sites.

"I’m sorry to bother you, but that is, in fact, our spot." Louis snapped, looking back at Zayn, who had an equally as angry face as his own, even though he knew it was only because he himself was angry. If Zayn had come over here himself he probably would’ve offered the kid his lunch and asked him his name. But gladly, Louis always got his way when it came to him.

"Oh, is it? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intervene." The kid smiled and packed his stuff before he stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans before looking back up. Louis stood straight and tried to seem as mean as he could get, but it was quite silly considering this guy was a good 3 inches taller and much broader as well.

As he walked away, Louis yelled back,”And I don’t want to see you over here again!” Pointing his finger in his direction. He watched as he waved and walked away and out of sight. God, that guy made him mad. He didn’t even know why really, but he was never much a fan of kids like that. He was too polite, too nice. It wasn’t normal, really, there had to be something behind it all. Like they say, the nicest ones will always snap. And what Louis was afraid of was the fact that the kid might shoot up the school or some shit.

"Louis what was that even about." Zayn laughed, sitting down and stretching his legs out. He pulled his phone out and started texting someone, most likely his girlfriend. Perrie and him had been dating for a while now and if they tried, they could be like prom king and queen or something. They were both good looking and nice so, why not?

Louis stood there and thought for a second. he really didn’t know what that was about. He was mean to that guy for no reason (though he didn’t regret it. He had to have something up his sleeve. Noone can be that nice.).

"Just… shut up I don’t know." He groaned, sitting down next to Zayn in the grass. He didn’t even want to touch his food anymore, because all he could think about was how much he fucking hated that guy even though he didn’t even know him. That was a habit of his, though. Hating people for no reason. And it wasn’t in the ‘I hate everyone’ teenager way, either. Like, he just hated some people.

He pulled a tuft of grass out of the ground and threw it, chewing on his bottom lip. He didn’t want any trouble from the kid, hopefully he wasn’t one of those wimp bastards who went and told the principal when someone gave him a dirty look. But he didn’t seem the type. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to see him again.

But really, when was the universe ever in Louis’ favor?

Because as he walked into his fourth period, he almost cried from what he saw. Sitting in the chair right next to his was the one and only guy with the curly hair and oddly cheery personality. He had his notebook open and was writing down something, his arms flexing with each word he wrote, and Louis was so vexed, he could’ve exploded on the spot. Why was he there. Why was he in the seat right next to his. Why did he have to deal with him for the rest of the day (maybe even the rest of the /year/). Why, God. Why.

He went to his seat and sat down, not looking over at the man to his left. He didn’t want to look at him in fear that he might just kill him right then and there. And when he heard him take an intake of breath and turn towards him, he stopped him right there and growled,”If you say one word to me, I’ll rip your throat out and shove it up your ass.”

And, let’s say that got him to back off a bit.

As the bell rang Mr. Ryan came in, setting a stack of papers on his desk. “Alright, I’ve got your papers graded, and really, I’m quite disappointed in what I’ve seen.”

Louis bit back a smile as everyone in the class started getting nervous, everyone whispering to one another, wondering if they’d done badly or not. Not because he thought he’d done good, but just because he thought it was hilarious when everyone started worrying like that.

"There was only one A, and that was from miss Kristen." He handed her the paper back as she accepted it willingly, her snobby nose turned upwards as she thanked him.

"Now, I want you all to get with a partner and correct your papers. Except for Kristen, of course."

Everyone started moving around to find a partner, but after a few seconds Mr. Ryan stopped everyone. “Oh, yes, I forgot. Everyone, we have a new student here. His name is Harry Styles. Please stand up, Harry.”

Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Harry stood up right beside him and sat back down immediately. He hated this guy, he hated him so much, there was no other way to explain it. The mere fact of Louis knowing of his existence made him frustrated.

And he was even more furious as Mr. Ryan gave him his paper back, and proceeded to say,”Louis, since Harry sits beside you why don’t you tell him about how we do things around here and fill him in on what we’ve been learning the past few days? I’m sure he’d be happy to know.”

Now, if the Purge were a thing that was happening right then, then Louis would’ve jumped up and screamed and went on a killing spree right in the middle of class. But unfortunately this was the real world with consequences and democracy, so Louis had to turn to the side and act like he was enjoying himself as he did as his teacher said. Because the last thing he wanted was detention. Not the night of band practice.

"So, Harry, what would you like to know." He gritted through his teeth, his clenched fists hidden under his desk as he tried to keep his voice from sounding too harsh. He didn’t need to try, though. He kinda wanted this kid to know he hated him.

"Just um, what have you all been learning." Harry asked, his voice sort of gravely and the smile on his face not faltering a single bit. Louis just wanted to slap that grin off of his face. Pull it off and shove it up his ass. Such a cocky smile, really, like he thought he was cool. Louis clenched his jaw and grabbed his own knee, suppressing the urge to punch him right in his cocky fucking face.

"Just. Trig and stuff."

He turned his face towards the front of the room as Harry nodded his head. He didn’t know what else to say to him, really, besides for him to never speak to him again and not even think of asking him any questions he may have. He won’t be associated with people like him. And yeah, he knew, he didn’t even know what kind of person he was really, but he couldn’t be someone he wanted to hang out with. Not at all.

So then, that afternoon when Louis got home, he waltzed right through the front door, and before he could even take a single breath, his mom was beside him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hellooooo dear! How was school today?" She boasted out, patting his shoulder then rushing back into the kitchen. It was a routine thing, really. It’s not like his mom really cared about what happened at school, but really, if something did happen, she knew he would tell her.

See, Louis had the best relationship with his mom. Since his dad left when he was younger, his mother had made sure to give him the best experience as a child. And she did wonderfully at that. When Louis turned twelve and had come to the conclusion that he didn’t really like girls and he told her, she was so accepting and supportive of him. Instead of asking about cute girls at school she asked about guys, she never ever made fun of him or said any slur towards him (no matter how mad she might’ve been). She had always been supportive of his fashion choices and the way he wanted to express himself as well. And she always taught him to be nice, even though he wasn’t that good at it. She was just a very inspiring and strong woman, and he loved her so much.

"School was… Boring. And dumb." He replied, sighing as he dropped his bag by the front door.

"But then again, dear, when is school not bring and dumb?" She asked in a perplexed tone, her laughter filling the room. Louis chuckled as well and sat down at the wooden table in the kitchen, twiddling his thumbs and kicking his feet. He started humming his band’s new song as well, bopping his head to the beat.

"Okay, what happened?"

Louis looked up with wide eyes, eyebrows furrowing at her question. “Uhh, nothing, why?” He asked, looking over at the stove behind her as she stepped closer.

"Louis I have lived with and raised you for seventeen years, I know your ways. Now tell me, come on." She pressed, sitting in the chair beside him. He groaned and threw his head back, cursing himself for deciding to sit exactly where he knew she would see him and his nervous habits.

They sat in silence for a second, Louis checking out the patterns the wood made on the table top and tracing it with his fingertips before he decided to just fuck it and tell her anyways. She’d find out sooner or later.

"Well, there’s this guy." He paused, looking up at her before continuing. "And… He’d like really cute. Not just cute I mean he’s hot, like hunka hunka fine. Like you with your George Clooney obsession."

He heard her laugh as she sat back, tapping the table with her fingers. “And?”

"And I hate his fucking guts." He near shouted, slapping his hands down. "He’s got that look, mom, I’m telling you.He’s the kid that like, that does extra credit work for fun and asks teachers if they need help I mean. He’s such a nerd. And I hate him and he sits beside me in math and just. Fuck." He growled, lying his head down while his mom set a soothing hand on his upper back.

"Okay sweetie, first things first, take a deep breath."

Louis nodded and took a nice breath in, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling.

"Alright, nice. Now. Please give me one good reason why you can’t give him a chance?" She asked in a soft tone, her face still and expressionless. Louis hated when she did that whole thing, because it was her "you’re wrong and you need to fix this face" and really, it made him feel worse about everything.

He sat for a second thinking about it, but couldn’t come up with any good replies. So he shrugged his shoulders and looked off into the distance, avoiding eye contact with his mom, knowing that she would be giving him a disappointed glance and a frown. “I dunno I just… I don’t feel like it.” He mumbled, rubbing his hands together and sighing. He really didn’t understand himself why he wouldn’t give him even a speck of a chance. He seemed friendly enough and all. Louis was probably being a huge jerk about it.

"Well, Louis I know I raised you better than to be some rude and terrible person to others, especially when you don’t know them. I expect so much more from you. Now I’m not saying this to lecture you, but-"

"No, mom, you are saying this to lecture me. Can’t you just help me like mom’s are supposed to?" He begged, his voice going higher pitched with how anxious and upset he was getting. He didn’t know what to do about this, he’d said it to himself a million times. He hated to be all ‘bratty teenager’ to her, considering he wasn’t usually. But this all had his panties in a twist and he just needed someone who agreed with him to make him feel better.

"Alright, sweetie. How about you just go upstairs and get comfortable while I make dinner. We’re having your favorite- homemade pizza, sounds about right, yeah?"

He nodded as he shuffled his way out of the kitchen, feeling drained of energy and just tired. He hated that he had band rehearsal tonight, considering he really wasn’t in the mood for singing. And also, the audition night was in a month for a new drummer, because Rick was moving to Connecticut in a bit. He really hated how they had to give him up, because, well, he was the best drummer they had ever had the chance to meet. And he was one of their good friends, so having to give him up for someone they didn’t really know would be a tough transition.

But really, Louis thought it would go well. There were plenty of people who had promised to come and audition, one of them was bound to be good enough for them.

So Louis went to school for a while and endured all of it’s blows once again, the teachers pissing him off para usual, the students making him want to push them all off of a cliff simultaneously. The only good thing that would come out of it would be a new drummer. So really, he couldn’t wait to get out of that fucking hell hole and find himself someone new.

But just as his luck has it, he was stopped by Harry on the way out of class.

"Hey, Louis!" He yelled, waving at him before he could scurry out the door. He tried to rush out between a crowd of people, but was shocked to feel his hand grasp his bicep, fingers digging into his skin. He gasped and looked back at him, his eyes flaming and his cheeks burning. why the fuck did he touch him.

It was as if Harry had read his mind, for after seeing the expression on Louis’ face burning into his eyes he removed his hand immediately, turning his head downwards and grabbing the strap to his backpack

"What on fucking earth could you want?" He gritted out, jaw clenched and hands balled into two fists.

"I was just wondering… when the tryouts for your band were." He murmured, avoiding direct eye contact with Louis.

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Harry? Was he really going to try and audition for his band? Um, hell no. Fuck no. God forbid he let him play in his band. He probably couldn’t even play, he most likely just tapped on a few books and thought he was good enough. But Louis thought it’d be pretty funny for him to show up to auditions and totally blow it, giving him a real reason to laugh at him and maybe hate him. So really, he just said this for laughs. Not seriously.

"It’s at 6:00. My place. Don’t be late, sweet cheeks." He spat out, writing his address on a ripped paper before turning and running out the door afterwards. Like, Harry really couldn’t be a good player. He was the kid who wore polo shirts to school and fancy shoes and was friendly to literally everyone and just… it wasn’t natural. He had to suck. He just had to.

That night at his house, he and his friends were hanging out in the garage, the old drum set sitting in the middle of the floor. About 6 guys had come, and they all bombed, and one girl came, and she was pretty good. She was really the only one they were considering, until the unthinkable happened.

Harry actually fucking showed up.

Louis tried to hide the embarrassment from his face, this nerd had actually come here to try and audition and this would either go exactly as he had planned or he was Miss America herself.

But really, Louis still wondered. How did he find out about the tryouts in the first place? Like really, it wasn’t at all that open to the public, so he must’ve worked to find out, or someone they knew must’ve told him.

"Hi, I’m Harry." He mumbled in that fucking gravely tone, his eyes bright as he reached a hand out to Alex and Zayn, shaking their hands before looking over at Louis. "I’m ready for the tryouts."

Louis motioned to the drums, a smirk played upon his face. He looked over to Zayn who gave him a chuckle and a shake of his head. He couldn’t wait to see how this turn of events would play out.

So Harry started to play. And Louis almost started to cry.

Because he was fucking amazing.

His bottom lip was tucked between his front teeth, curly hair shaking out everywhere as he played the beat on the drums. The drumsticks looked like they might’ve cracked from how hard he was banging at them, and to be completely honest, it was the hottest thing Louis had ever seen.

As he finished up, Zayn and Alex were whispering among themselves, Alex’s head bobbing up and down as Zayn spoke. Louis was scared, really. Scared that he had let a complete and utter dweeb into the band unintentionally. But the others have a say in it all, too, so really, it's not what Louis thinks. It’s what everyone agrees on collectively.

"What’d ya think?" He asked, his face glistening in a thin sheath of sweat and sounding a bit out of breath. Louis probably needed to catch his breath too, really.

After a moment of silence, Zayn looked to Louis with pursed lips and knitted eyebrows, his shoulders going up. So Louis just went with it, shrugging his shoulders and nodding. “You’re in. But if you want to stay, you’re gonna need a wardrobe change for the next gig.”

He could feel his heart skip a beat as Harry’s eyes lit up like stars, his smile taking up his entire face. It was just… incredible. How he could see the devotion he had for drumming just in his facial expression. It made him question whether or not he really liked singing and playing guitar, considering he had never once looked like that when he played. At least, he didn’t think he did.

So Louis figured he could give him a chance maybe. Like, if they were gonna be in a band together, might as well get along slightly, right? He may be able to redeem himself to him (which he really didn’t need to, he did nothing wrong in the slightest). But he knew how kids like him worked and he didn’t want him to think that he didn’t think he was good, so.

"You’re alright, you know." Louis mumbled out, his arms still crossed over his chest and his head facing the floor. He probably couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes again, knowing he was such a fantastic drummer and all, even when he went around in polo shirts and jorts and shit.. The irony of it all just embarrassed him so much,none of this was what he expected in the long run.

"Thanks." Harry piped, his head down as well and his feet shuffling. Louis coughed a bit and stepped away and outside of the garage and took in a sharp breath, shaking his head in awe. He was excited and proud that they had managed to find themselves a replacement drummer on the first day, but just. Maybe this was karma’s sick way to get back at him. Either way, he knew it would all be okay in the end of it all. It always was.

~~

"That's a wrap, guys!" Louis shouted, the music coming to a close as he grabbed his bottle of water. He practically swallowed half of it in one go, because whether they believed it or not, being a vocalist was hard. Sure he played the guitar but singing like non-stop the whole time... It hurt his throat sometimes

He could hear his mom already coming downstairs, the pitter-patter of her quick feet coming closer until she appeared in the doorway, her smile illuminating her face and a tray in her hands. "Here you are, boys!" She announced, setting the snack tray on the table to the left of them.

Louis could feel his face redden, embarrassment poking through. He loved his mom, he really did. But he wasn't twelve anymore. They didn't need her to bring down lemonade and cheese crackers after every practice. And he tried telling her that, but she said that she insisted upon it. And the boys didn't seem to mind, either. But still. He was growing up, and sooner or later he'd need to fend for himself.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Tomlinson." Harry said, taking her hand into his own and shaking it warmly. Louis sort of grimaced as she smiled at him, nodding before going back upstairs.

"Um, I'll be back." Louis urged, rushing to the stairs before anyone could ask where he was going.

"Mom?" He whisper-shouted, sighing as she poked her head from the kitchen. He shushed her before she could say anything, rushing her back into the room as far away from the guys as possible.

"Darling, you didn't tell me that you'd already found a replacement drummer? What's his name? Why didn't you introduce us?"

Louis groaned and buried his head in his face, shaking it before whispering,"First off, be quiet. And mom, fuck, that's the guy I told you about! The one I hate. The hot one, mom."

He looked at her with a wide eyed expression as she laughed, slapping her hand on the counter. "Aha, ohh Lou. Are you serious?"

"Dead serious."

He stood up straight and ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a deep breath as his mom just stood there, smiling much too big for what he just told her. "Mom are you okay."

"Louis why is he in your band if you hate him so much."

He furrowed his eyebrows and explained to her the whole situation, with the tryouts and the God-like drumming and everything. And he thought that even she couldn't believe her own ears.

"SO, yeah. That's why he's in my band."

"Well, Louis, you shouldn't hate him much anymore. Have you even tried to get to know him? Or are you still pretending that you're too cool to be friends with him."

"It's not pretending if it's true." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, but he knew there was truth to her words. He couldn't just ignore what she said, anyways. She was sort of like the good angel on his shoulder. "Fine." He sighed out, not looking back as he went downstairs.

But he sure as Hell was NOT going to start befriending him now. He'd wait a little while. Like, maybe a week. Or two. Or maybe a month.

  
But not today.

~~

"Louis?"

He turned to look over at Harry whom was sitting beside him, his eyes worried and his expression looking more-so upset than anything. He sighed and rolled his eyes, setting his pencil down and folding his hands on his desk.

"Yes, Harry." He replied sarcastically, hoping he would catch his drift and just stop talking. It’d been a couple of weeks since Harry was accepted into the group, and even though Louis told himself that he’d give him a chance, he really never went through with it. The whole time he’d just ignored Harry and not really talked to him. He let Zayn and Alex do all of the work so he wouldn’t have to deal with his sorry ass.

Yeah, he knew he’d have to do something sooner or later, but right now was not the time for it. They were in class and he was really paying attention to what Mr. Ryan was saying, (okay, not really. but if it got Harry off his chest then yeah, he was totally listening).

"You know how we have that performance next week?"

Louis rested his cheek on his fist, nodding and closing his eyes. He didn’t want to listen to him talk much longer, even though his voice was actually… kind of nice to hear. But he couldn’t let him know what. So he was annoyed.

"Well, remember how you said that I’m going to need some new clothes before we go.."

"What are you instigating, Harry? That I take you shopping? Like some 13 year old girls?" He hissed, practically throwing his hands in the air.

"Mister Tomlinson, I take that as you want to answer the next question?" Mr. Ryan mused, the rest of the class turning around to look at him with bored and pleading looks on their faces.

"No sir, just stretching." He bit out, shoving his hands under the desk as he turned back around to face the board. God, this fucking guy.

Louis continued as Mr. Asshole began talking again,”Harry, can’t we do this some other time?”

"No, we can’t." He whispered, scooting a bit closer to Louis and leaning in to him. "Now as I could see you probably are the most concerned about my attire. So I thought who better to take me than you? Come on, I’ll drive and I have my card. Why don’t we go after class ends?"

"Because I have plans, Harry. Zayn and I-"

"Already checked with Zayn. He said you were free tonight."

Louis looked at him with the most dumbfounded expression on his face. Fuck Zayn, he was supposed to help him get out of this. And now he really had no excuse. Except to just flat out say no.

He didn’t know why he didn’t just do exactly that.

So after class was over, Louis found himself sitting in the passenger seat of Harry’s car, texting his mom and telling her where exactly he was going, with Harry Styles sitting right beside him driving. He didn’t think he’d ever find himself in this situation. Goddamnit Zayn.

They sat in silence for a while, with Louis’ feet propped up on the dashboard because this wasn’t his car and he didn’t care. He wished he could just scruff it up and ruin it and everything but he was much too nice for that. Anyways, Harry didn’t seem to care about his shoes, so.

"Wanna listen to some music?" Harry asked, the silence breaking. Louis crossed his arms and looked over to him, his eyebrows pinched together as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"What kind of music? Kelly Clarkson?" He sarcastically added. He frowned as Harry made a grimace and clicked on the radio, pushing in a CD. And as the music started Louis’ jaw nearly fell open, because to his surprise, My Chemical Romance came blasting through the speakers.

He decided to keep his mouth shut from that moment on.

~~

"Um, fuck no, that looks like something a grandma might wear." Louis spat, yanking the floral shirt from Harry's hands and throwing it back on the rack. "Dude, if you're gonna be in our band you need to look like us. Not like a schoolboy who picks flowers for his teachers."

He rolled his eyes as Harry blushed, and went around looking for something different. "This store sucks, why did you bring us here?"

"This... This is where I always go." Harry confessed, his eyes shiny and his lips puckered out a bit. Louis only groaned and hit himself in the head, grabbing Harry's arm as he walked him out of the store.

"No... Fuck no. Come on we're going somewhere not shitty as Hell." Louis protested, and he didn't realize that he was, like, touching Harry until after a second. He quickly removed his hand as soon as he realized and wiped it on his shirt, stomping to the car and getting in while Harry followed.

"Where, exactly, are we going?" Harry noted, starting the engine and pulling out of the spot.

Louis looked over at him with a wicked grin. And he was sure that that was when Harry had realized he made a terrible mistake asking him to take him shopping.

~~

 

"Louis, I need to get out of here." Harry said with a shaky voice as Louis looked back at him, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Harry, Jesus Christ this is Hot Topic, my best friend's 10 year old sister shops here don't be weak." He snapped, stepping up to the wall of T-shirts. "What size shirt do you usually wear? Also what size in jeans." He looked over the shirts and picked out a few that he thought might look good on him.

"Uh, I don't know." Harry answered, not paying attention, but instead looking over to the exit door, his hands in his pockets.

"Okay, I'm just gonna grab a bunch of stuff and we'll head to the fitting room." Louis picked up a few different sizes in black skinny jeans, and got a couple of sizes in shirts, too, though he was sure he would fit in a large. And as they got to the dressing room, Louis handed him the clothes and waited for him to go in and try it all on.

"Uh..." Harry started, looking around and to Louis and shrugging his shoulders.

"What is it this time dear God." Louis urged on, just kind of done with even asking. Harry would always need something else in the end, wouldn't he?

"Are you gonna come in with me?" Harry asked, and Louis thought he was joking at first but the look of pure seriousness on his face told him otherwise.

"Why?"

"Just so I won't have to keep opening and closing the door and having to walk out and step back in. It'll be quicker."

And Louis wasn't gonna do it, but he did have a point. It would be quicker.

SO he stepped into the small fitting room and sat down on the little seat in the corner and waited for Harry to change and get it over with.

And he really tried to not look as Harry took his shirt off.

But it wasn't exactly that easy.

Because Harry was standing, like, right next to him and he was really close and his fucking abs were right in his face. So he figured as long as he doesn't get caught, he can look.

And fuck, was he glad he looked, because he was allowed to hate Harry but still admire his body, right? Right.

Louis watched as Harry tried on the first shirt, his muscles flexing as he pulled the shirt over his head. And this shirt looked great, like, really great. It was just a regular Green Day shirt but wow it looked great on Harry. Yeah, great.

He was caught off guard when Harry coughed, his cheeks red and his hair just strewn about everywhere. "So, um, what do... You think." He questioned, straightening the shirt and dropping his hands to his sides.

"It looks good. Yeah, it looks alright." Louis approved quickly, averting his eyes to a different corner of the little room. He saw Harry nod from the corner of his eye as he lifted the shirt off, his muscular body showing off from underneath.

And Louis knew this would be a long evening after that.

~~~~  
 

The time that they spent in that fitting room was the longest half hour (or maybe it was longer, he didn't know) of Louis' life. All he really did was drool over Harry's fucking wonderful body and he almost cried when Harry took his pants off to try on the jeans. But thankfully it all fit, and he didn't need to sit in there much longer. Otherwise he'd have had a very unwelcome guest in his pants, and Harry would not have let that slide easily.

As they sat in the car together, Louis was just looking out the window and at the sky, while Harry sat in silence as usual.

"Do you... wanna grab a bite?"

"Where." Louis wasn't even going to argue with him anymore on anything. He'd let him buy him a three course meal at the best restaurant in town or a shitty $1 hamburger from McDonalds. Truth be told he was starving and would be willing to eat his own fucking hand.

"Um. There's a new pizza place down the street if you want. But it's alright if you don't want." He babbled out, his hands gripping the wheel, knuckles white. And Louis felt kind of bad actually, because he really didn't need to be so nervous or anything. But Louis had made him feel that way from the way he'd been acting and such. And he was ashamed of himself, really, for judging Harry before he got to know him.

So maybe, just maybe, he'd like to get to know him better. And what better way then to go and eat out with him?

"Sure."

~~~~

"You don't have to pay." Louis informed him, reaching for his own wallet, but Harry had insisted on paying for it, "Because I dragged you out here in the first place."

Louis sat down at a table and waited for Harry to come and sit with him, and while he was waiting, he had a little time to reflect on what had happened over the day.

Like, Louis didn't know if he hated Harry much anymore. Not for any reason in particular but because... He was nice. And he was awkward and nervous and also still kind of strong and confident in his own way and yeah his floral print was cute also he had A++ music taste and just. He was kinda pissed off at himself for hating him in the first place, when in reality he was so friendly.

But he wasn't gonna let Harry know this.

"Alright, so it's been payed for and the pizza should be over here in a few." Harry sighed as he sat down, straightening his shirt and moving his curls out of his face.

"Harry?" Louis started off, but didn't know how to finish. What the Hell was he supposed to say? "Um, I'm glad I could help you find some new clothes and... stuff..."

He could feel the corners of his mouth twitch upwards as Harry grinned, nodding his head. "Yeah, I'm glad you could help me out. Believe it or not but I don't really roll with your kind of crowd."

"Yeah it's.. kind of obvious. But at least you'll look good for the concert, yeah? And like, all of the ladies will be all over you, I'm sure."

And Louis didn't mean that in the way he thought. That wasn't just a way to see if he was single or not, fuck no.

"Oh, no, I'm not so sure about that. They're obviously gaga over you." Harry replied, thanking the server as he set the pan of pepperoni pizza down.

Louis coughed and got himself a piece before Louis confessed,"Well, I wouldn't care. I'm not exactly into them, if you know what I mean."

He watched as Harry froze in front of him, mentally punching himself in his fucking jaw for bringing it up. Man, he just not kind of gained his trust and now he knew and he didn't know how he'd react.

"You're gay?"

Louis nodded and picked off a pepperoni, popping it into his mouth as Harry spoke again.  
 

"That's cool. I'm pan."

Louis smiled and almost laughed. Of all the irony. Of fucking course Harry wouldn't be straight, of FUCKING course.

"Really? That's... interesting."

And just like that were they surrounded by an unfortunate silence, besides the sound of stuff clanging in the background and the chatter of the workers. Louis hated awkward silences so much.

"So... Why don't you tell me about... yourself?" He almost couldn't finish with how cliche the question was. But Harry seemed to appreciate it, for he only smiled and started talking as if he'd rehearsed his autobiography in front of his mirror every night before bedtime.

"Well, my full name is Harry Edward Styles. Not short for Harold, mind you. Um, my favorite color is blue. I work at the Wal*Mart a couple of miles from school. I have an older sister, but she moved out and went to college last year. I live with my mom, her and my dad divorced a while ago, and I have a dog named Bruce. I've been drumming since I was ten and I've kind of always wanted to be in a band. And when I found out you needed a new drummer it just kind of clicked that maybe I could be it. And I decided to try no matter what it took. I still manage to maintain my good grades because I want to make my mother happy. And other than that I don't think I have anything." He speculated, raising his eyebrows as he took a bite of his slice.

Louis chewed on his bottom lip and looked out the window and at the evening sky. He hoped that maybe, this could be the start of a friendship. But he didn't care if not. He still hated him a little.

~~~~

"Shit, shit fuck."

Louis turned around to the source of the words, and saw Harry standing there by himself, chest heaving and his eyes wide.

"Dude, are you okay?" He asked, going up to him and asking Alex for a bottle of water. He frowned when Harry shook his head no, his curls bobbing and his lips red and chapped.

"No, no no no I'm not. I'm gonna mess up out there I know I am and I look so out of place and they're all gonna hate me dear God." He babbled out, taking a deep breath, his eyes turning red. Louis didn't realize that he'd react this way to their first concert, there weren't even that many people out there, just like 100 or maybe 200. He was kind of scared to see what Harry would do in front of a larger group.

"Harry, it's okay don't worry. Just don't stress, okay? If you need to, when we get out there, just don't look at the crowd. You can look down at the drums or even look at me. You won't mess up I promise." And Louis felt kind of good about himself, because he was seriously doing something nice for Harry, whom which he hated and still kind of did. Deep down he was still a huge nerd.

"You mean that?" Harry asked, calming down a bit, but his face was still red and his eyes still watery.

"Yeah. I mean it."

Louis awkwardly punched his shoulder then went to Zayn, shaking his head. What the fuck. A fist bump? Really? What does he live in fucking 2011 again?

"You ready?" Zayn asked, taking one last puff of his cigarette before putting it out (he was still kind of trying to rid him of his smoking addiction. But it was kind of dumb to try, considering they both smoked the usual blunt every now and again).

"Yeah, I think we're good to go."

And then everyone was rushing around, Harry was standing alone again but he looked stable. Alex was shoving guitars into everyone's hands, Zayn couldn't find his pick, it was pure chaos para usual.

"Come on!" Zayn shouted to Harry, who looked up like he didn't know what was going on, but was soon following everyone with his drumsticks in hand. And then they were ready to go.

Louis stood out on the stage in front of everyone, a bunch of girls (including Cassandra. Damn she was thirsty) screaming, and loads of male fans nodding and trying to act tough as Hell. He looked back at Harry who was sitting there in awe, swiping his curls from in front of his eyes until they made like, pure eye contact. Unbreakable contact. And it was kind of weird, really.

He chewed on his bottom lip and licked at his piercing, a nervous habit of his that he just couldn't seem to shake. But then Harry started tapping his sticks to the beat, and just like that was the song started. They were all playing and Louis counted out the beats to when he had to sing, and he almost missed his cue, because Harry was still staring right into his eyes and he was smiling and it wasn't that weird anymore.

He looked out to the crowd and started singing, his heart thumping in his ears and his fingers going down the neck of the guitar with expertise. He always got such a rush at the concerts, the heat of the lights beaming down on him, the sound of the crowd singing along with them. It was wonderful. Fulfilling. Everything that Louis loved about being in a band.

He kept taking a few glances back at Harry to see if he was still alright, and every time he did, all he saw was Harry's hair flying around madly and his hands swinging down onto the drums. He was so passionate about it, like it was his life sort of. And that was just... incredible.

Absolutely INCREDIBLE.

~~~~

It had been a couple of months since that first gig with Harry. And things were going pretty well. He wasn't much afraid of the stage anymore, and he was getting better and better with each day that came and went by. And Louis and he were sort of friends now. Like Louis still acted like he didn't like him sometimes. But that was hard when he would make those terrible jokes that you can't help but laugh at.

And he was sitting on the couch, thinking about everything and it all when he heard the doorbell ring, which was strange, because he didn't recall inviting anyone over for the night. Maybe it was someone for his mom. But she was gone, he doubted anyone would just show up for her when she wasn't available.

So he opened the door, but was surprised to see Zayn, his hair wild and his clothes wore and why was he at his house.

"Zayn what's going on? Why are you here, I thought you and Pez were going out for the ni-"

And like that were Zayn's lips pressed up against his, the bitter taste of cigarettes and alcohol stinging his lungs. He tried to push him away, but unfortunately those work outs at the gym must have been doing Zayn some good, because he was being pushed back until he hit the couch, falling backwards onto it, and it was really uncomfortable because his neck was sore and he still didn't know why Zayn was here.

"What the fuck was that for?!" He shouted as Zayn went to close the front door, locking it in his wake.

"I need you Louis. I need you right here, right now." He practically growled, throwing himself back on top of Louis and latching his lips to his neck.

Louis' heart was going a mile a minute, because he thought Zayn was hot and everything but he didn’t know if he wanted this. He might've felt something for him time and time again, but. "What about Perrie? Zayn, you two- Ah." He gasped as Zayn pushed the heel of his hand into his crotch, his cock filling from the touch. And really he was quite ashamed of it. Because, like, yeah it felt kind of good but he was being really rough and this isn’t what Louis wanted his first time to be.

Yeah, first time.

"Don't worry, Louis, it's alright." He whispered into his neck, biting down on his skin before he lifted himself up, both his knees on either side of Louis' hips.

"What're you doing?" He squealed, Zayn's hands going to grab his wrists as he pinned them above his head.

"I'm gonna fuck you, Louis. God, I'm gonna fuck you so hard. Make you come like never before."

Louis felt his heart stop beating. His whole world just froze right in front of him. He didn't know if he wanted that to happen. He wasn't ready. He wasn't prepared. He didn't think he loved loved Zayn ever, really. "But- Zayn, please." He cried out, kicking around but coudldn't exactly move, because his hips were pinned down and Zayn was on top of him, grinding downwards now.

He could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, gasping for air as Zayn reached down to unzip Louis' pants, and Louis couldn't stop him at all, could only lie there. He tried getting away one last time but Zayn only pushed down harder onto his wrists.

He bit down onto his bottom lip, tears falling down the sides of his head as he pulled his pants down halfway with his boxers, his half-hard cock hitting the air and his thighs shaking. He didn't want this. And if he did want this ever, he wouldn't want it like this. Not at all.

He felt a sob wrack through his body as Zayn grabbed his cock, stroking it and then letting it drop onto his stomach. He could feel sheer panic go through his body as Zayn unzipped his own jeans and pulled his fully hard dick out, his hand going up and down his shaft. “Spread your legs, baby.”

Louis screamed then, so loudly that it hurt his throat, and he wriggled and fought against his hold on him until he couldn’t breathe anymore. But just. He was too strong. He stood his ground and reached his hand into the air as if he was gonna hit him. And Louis closed his eyes and braced himself for what was to come.

But Zayn suddenly stopped, getting up and falling to the floor and just sitting there, staring at the carpet. He sat in silence for a while, Louis sitting on the couch, terrified, shaking, his pants still down and his cheeks red and tear-stained.

"Louis, I..." He trailed off, shaking his head and getting up. "I'm sorry, I've got... I've gotta go." He stuttered out, rushing out the door and leaving Louis there, shocked, scared. What just happened?

He sat there for a minute before he just decided to cry. He cried for a while, he texted his mom telling her what happened, even though she wouldn't see it until later. She was at a meeting and couldn't have her phone on. He was still freaking out, he wanted to take a bath but just didn't really have the energy. He just sat there on the couch, pulled up his pants, and cried.

He took in a sharp intake of breath when he heard a knock at the door, and sat completely still for a second. He hoped they'd just think noone was home and leave, but nope. He heard the doorknob turn and almost screamed until he saw Harry's figure enter his eyesight, wearing sweats and carrying a tub of ice cream and he didn't know if that was a movie in his hand or not but oh well.

"Lou?" He asked quietly, rushing over and sitting beside him on the couch, setting down the ice cream and yeah, it was a movie, Scary Movie 3 to be exact. He didn't answer him, only sat and stared blankly at the wall and he hoped he wouldn't cry but then he did again. The tears just fell from his eyes, and then Harry's arms were around his shoulders, pulling the wracking sobs from Louis' body.

He was almost screaming, and he had to bury his face into Harry's t-shirt to stop himself from crying too loudly. He gripped onto his shirt and just bawled like a child. And Harry only held him tighter with each wail and sob, and Louis only wanted to cry more since he was there. But he felt sort of safe. Like he was allowed to cry. And even though he tried to act all tough in front of Harry, he couldn't do that right now. And he didn't care.

After a few minutes, or maybe it was more than a few minutes, Louis dried his tears and wiped his cheeks with his hands, sniffling and letting out a long breath. He folded his arms over his chest and was waiting for Harry to let go of him, and he did after a second, but he kind of wished he didn't. His embrace was just warm and sweet and it was something he really didn't feel very so often.

Harry didn't even speak to him or ask him what happened or... Anything. He just got up and grabbed the movie, he put it in the DVD player and grabbed the remote and didn't even bother asking how to work it. So Louis just grabbed the TV remote and switched it to where it showed the screen for the DVD player while he wasn't looking.

And he went to the kitchen and got two spoons and handed one to Louis as he opened the container. It was just plain chocolate ice cream, but Louis liked that kind anyways.

And after a while of silence and the people talking on screen, Louis decided to speak,"How did you kn-"

"Your mom texted me."

"You have her number?" He mused, scooping out some ice cream and shoving it into his mouth.

"Yeah, she gave it to me a while ago and said that it was for emergencies ? I dunno."

"What'd she tell you?"

"Enough."

Louis nodded and got another spoonful, and played with it for a second before he just dropped it back into the container, sighing.

"I don't even know what happened. One second I was sitting here alone and the next I was just... Crying and freaking out and Zayn was on top of me and I-"

He shook his head and picked the spoon back up, just kinda looking at the ice cream before he ate it finally. "I don't know why I'm getting so worked up about it." He sighed, looking over at Harry and expecting him to just be in his own world. But he was looking at him with knit eyebrows and a concentrated expression.

"No, it's alright." He comforted, settling his hand on Louis' back and rubbing circles into it. "I can understand why you're upset, don't worry. You have the right to, really."

Louis halfheartedly smiled at him before asking, "Why did you come in the first place? You could've just like. Ignored it and stayed at home." He mumbled, feeling himself relax under Harry's soft touches.

"Well like. I dunno. Just the thought of you being hurt and stuff wasn't the best thought in the world. Nobody deserves what happened to you. Not anyone."

"Well, yeah but nothing happened. Like I'm freaking out over nothing. He didn't even do... Anything. He just touched me then left."

"Yeah, but you didn't like it. Like you didn't want him to and he did and tried anyways. Louis, it doesn't matter if he went all the way or not, what he did was wrong and I swear if I don't beat his ass tomorrow then it'll be a miracle."

"Others have had it worse, Harry. Other people actually do get raped and stuff and I'm just complaining about nothing. Nothing, Harry." He could feel his face start to heat up, his own words hitting himself harder than he thought possible. He didn't know why he was getting upset. Because nothing happened and it didn't matter and it wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be.

"Louis, shut up. Shut up right now. Zayn had touched you and almost forced you into something you didn't want, and that's what matters. How you feel about this is completely defended in every way because you deserve better than that."

And that's what hit him. He could feel his lungs start to hurt and his head hurt and he just wanted to lie there and cry all night. Why couldn't Harry just let him think the way he wanted to. Why'd he have to go all mushy like that. That's probably what hurt more than anything.

He whispered to Harry, but it was completely inaudible, because Harry leaned in and asked what he had said.

"Can you just hold me." He asked again, and when Harry nodded he practically threw himself into his arms, and his whole body ached but he felt better with Harry's arms around him.

"I still hate you though."

And Harry laughed at that, and Louis could feel his fingers running through his hair.

"And grass is green."

~~~~

"Louis!"

He could hear his mom yelling as he opened his eyes. He was lying on top of Harry on the couch, and the two of them were covered up with the blanket that was hanging off the back of the couch. Harry was asleep, snoring lightly until his mom shouted again, and then his eyes were open and wide and he almost choked on his air.

Louis bolted up from the couch at his mom's high pitched voice echoing through the room, and looked around and saw her standing in the doorway.

"Mom." He groaned, lying back down on Harry. He really didn't care if Harry cared. He was tired and wanted to get back to sleep.

"Baby you know how I feel about you sleeping on th-"

Louis looked up at Harry as he waved at her, his drowsy smile still looking fully endearing.

"Oh. Hello, Harry."

"Mrs. Tomlinson."

Louis frowned and rested his head on Harry's chest for another second before asking him,"Do you want me to get up?"

"Not really."

Louis could feel his cheeks heat up, him hiding his face from Harry's view as his mother came back in.

"Well, you two look comfy so I guess I'll just... turn out the light and leave you be. I'm going to bed. I'll be sleeping. You know, knocked o-"

"We get it mom bye." Louis mumbled out, his face even redder as the light went out, his mom leaving the room for the night.

"Sorry about her."

He felt Harry shift a little then felt one of his hands in his hair, the other resting on his back. "No, it's fine."

They slept like that for the rest of the night. In each other's arms, and it was nice. It was like, really nice. It was all that Louis wanted ? So that was good.

~~~~

Louis didn't know where he and Harry stood at this point.|

They still acted like normal and stuff around the others. Noone asked Zayn about what had happened, even he went around acting like nothing had happened. SO either he was completely shitfaced that night or he was really good at hiding things.

it was all just sort of, normal? Regular? Ah, he didn't know the word for it. But whatever it was it was eating him away like some disease of his insides.

Like, what happened that night between him and Harry? It sure as Hell wasn't platonic and Louis could promise that. His mom knew it all, but everytime she tried to talk about it Louis just left the room. He didn't even know if Harry knew what happened.

But whatever it was, he was able to hide it greatly for a solid 2 and a half weeks.

Then Louis just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Harry, I need to talk to you."

He motioned him upstairs after band practice, so soon after that his mom hadn't even come downstairs with the snacks, yet.

He went up the stairs as Harry followed, and as he approached the top he just started to freak out a little. What was he supposed to say? Was what happened a couple weeks ago a little gay? Like just a little? I might be a little gay for you. Maybe a lot gay.

"Okay, I know what this is about."

Louis let out a sigh of relief as Harry twiddled his thumbs, chewing on his bottom lip. "Yeah, I took the last bottle of water out of the fridge. I'm sorry, and before you hate me let me explai-"

He looked at him with a dumbfounded expression, and he couldn't believe that Harry was even bringing the fucking water up. "Harry you're a fucking idiot."

He tried to supress his smile at Harry's hurt expression, his mouth turned down into a frown. "Wha-"

"This isn't about the water."

He saw Harry's face lighten a bit, feeling his own heart begin to slow down a bit.

"It's about what happened that one night.."

"What about it?" Harry asked, and if Louis didn't hate him before he sure did now, because he was acting so careless? Like isn't he even the least bit nervous about this conversation. Or is Louis just stressing over it for no reason at all.

"Just like.. What.." He took a deep breath. "What happened like..." Come on, Lou, spit it the fuck out. He closed his eyes before pushing it out of himself.

 

“What happened? I mean like. What happened wasn’t exactly all just friendly... Was it?” He stood for a second, both eyes clenched shut, and peeked one eye open to see Harry standing there, looking like he was deep into thought about it all.

“No... I guess it wasn’t just... Friendly. Unless you wanted it to be. Then yeah it was all just in my good nature.”

Louis let out a frustrated breath, shaking his head and wiping his sweaty hands on his shirt.

“Well then what the fuck are we to each other, Harry? If we’re not friends and we’re not boyfriends then what? Has my mom adopted you? Are you a pet?”

He started pacing in circles, which wasn’t something he ever normally did but given the circumstances, it seemed appropriate. And then Harry said something that actually made him stop and think.

“Maybe we could like… Go out on a date or something? Or like not a date if you want. Just hang out or something.”

Louis licked his lips and covered his mouth with his hand out of habit. That really wasn't such a bad idea. And he couldn't think of an argument for why not, so.

"Okay."

~~~~

"Harry, when you said you were taking me out, I thought it was gonna be something a little less... chessy."

Louis huffed out a breath as Harry grinned, his hands shoved in his pockets as the wind ruffled his hair a bit. Of course, he had taken them both out for a 'stroll in the park', as he said. Which was ridiculous because, well, who the fuck went for walks in the park nowadays? They weren't in the fucking Notebook this was real life, man.

He could feel the corners of his mouth turning upwards, but tried to repress them. He couldn't let himself get lost in a world of smiles every single damn time Harry would even so much as look at him. What the fuck.

Louis moved a few strands of hair out from in front of his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck before hesitantly saying,"Harry, there's something I've been needing to talk to you about."

He let out a shaky breath and shook his head as Harry asked what exactly he needed to speak with him about. And Louis wasn't so sure if he should even bring it up considering this should be a date and dates are meant to go well. But he had to ask him sooner or later, so.

"I just don't like, want you to see me differently after what had happened... Like I don't want you to see me as weak or as vulnerable or anything just because of what had happened, you know?"

He felt his heart stutter when Harry stopped in his tracks, the only sounds in the air coming from kids screaming and the wind ruffling the leaves on the trees. The silence between them was so profound, and it felt as thought it had lasted forever. But the truth was that Louis didn't want to seem less than who he was because of what had happened with Zayn that night. And he didn't want to be treated any differently because of it.

He could feel his heart go back to it's regular rhythm as Harry spoke. "Louis, I couldn't see you as any differently than I did before. Yes, I saw you at your weakest state, and that's okay. You really don't know someone until you see them that way. And it's okay to be vulnerable at times. But that doesn't meant that you still aren't tough and badass and strong."

"I know, Harry, but I still don't want you to just act like I'm fragile and just.. Delicate all of the time." He added on, pursing his lips and furrowing his eyebrows.

"I understand you. I promise I'll still treat you as the abrasive Louis I've come to know. But, question?"

"Go for it."

"Am I allowed to beat Zayn's fucking ass for what he did to you?"

Louis shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his shuffling feet, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk and kicking against the concrete. "I dunno. I don't think he even remembers. Must've been too pissed to even realize what he was doing."

"Maybe I should say something about it. Might jog his memory enough so that he'll know he's a piece of shit."

"No, please." Louis rushed out, grabbing onto Harry's bicep and digging his fingers into his flesh (more-so muscle, but he didn't have time to think about that right now). "I really don't want to start any trouble. Maybe we can just act like nothing happened. Like forget it all."

"Louis, I'm not gonna forget it. He hurt you, you were frightened and he needs to be called out on it."

"Harry, please, no." Louis begged, completely stopping once again and now standing directly in front of him. "I really don't want to start anything, let's just keep this between us, yeah? Please?"

He looked up at Harry with wide eyes as he looked off into the distance like he was in some romance movie, but he nodded anyways, closing his eyes. "Yeah, alright, I won't. But only because you asked."

Louis let out a sigh in relief, placing his hand over his heart as he started back up walking.

"So, up for some ice cream?"

So he and Harry stayed out like, literally all day. They sat around and just talked, for hours, really. But it didn't feel like hours. Because as they went on the conversation would just keep flowing, never a silent patch in between. Harry would make a terrible joke and Louis would hide his face in his hands, and Louis would say that a cloud looked like a dick and Harry would nod in agreement, then laugh. It was just wonderful, really. And it was something that Louis couldn't even do with his best of friends or anything.

So when 9'oclock rolled around, and the sky was dark and the moon was out, Harry had walked Louis to his front door, standing there smiling his goofy smile and leaning against the doorframe.

"Thanks for that, Harry." Louis smiled and tilted his head to the side a bit, his cheeks red from laughing and his face hurting from smiling so much throughout the day. he'd decided to give up the whole tough boy act long ago, when Harry had made a statement about how kids don't know that they came out of vaginas, and he couldn't hold back his laughter. He had had the most wonderful night. "One more thing, though. And don't make fun of me."

"Anything, babe." Harry said casually, and Louis felt his lungs falter a bit at the nickname. He wasn't used to being called such, but it made him feel like he hadn't ever before when it slipped from Harry's tongue.

"Can we... watch the stars?" He whispered inaudibly, red creeping up his neck and to his jaw as he stood there awkwardly.

"Y-yeah. Yeah, sure." Harry said in a soft voice, turning towards the front yard and placing a guiding hand on Louis' upper back.

Louis really didn't know why, but honestly, watching the stars together was probably one of the most romantic things in the world to him. And yeah, he didn't want to be cliche or weird or anything, but it was just something that he had always wanted to do. To just lie there with someone he could trust, watching the night sky.

He plopped down onto the grass and lied down, not sure where to put his hands at first. He decided to just keep them awkwardly at his sides, letting out a breath of air as Harry lied down right beside him, resting his head on his hands, elbows bent.

And it was silent. But it wasn't that weird kind of silence where one feels anxious or strange. It was a good silent, a collective quietness that just made everything feel sort of... complete.

And Louis lied there, his eyes closed and his arms down, the grass itching at his arms and neck and his head feeling heavy from the awkward angle it was at. But he opened his eyes once he felt a warm hand prodding at his own, letting it become enveloped by the heat.

He turned his head to look at Harry, who was still watching the stars with a deep interest before he looked over at Louis, a shy smile daring to form on his lips.

And Louis felt like he couldn't ask for anything more in that moment. He didn't know if he loved Harry or if he just liked him as a really really good friend or if it was just a teenage fling. But what he did know was that he was happy, and that whatever they did have was enough for him if it could be like this all of the time.

~~~~

"Harry what the fuck."

Louis stood there with his hands on his hips, eyes wide and lips pursed together. Harry stomped his foot and whined, looking back at the ride then back to Louis.

"Come on, Lou, it's not that bad I swear. I mean, I know it looks scary but just trust me on this? I'm going on it too, so don't think I'd make you do it just because I hate you."

Louis rolled his eyes and flicked his hair out of his face, "Harry there is no fucking way I'm going on that thing. It goes upside down way too many times and honestly, I've seen to many youtube videos of carnival rides that went rouge. No. No. N O."

He could feel himself starting to turn around to it, though, as Harry gave hm the fucking widest eyes and pout he could muster up. But it wasn't enough, no.  
 

"Harry I'm much stronger than you think."

He smirked in victory as Harry groaned and threw his hands up in the air,. "Come on, Louis!" He drawled out, cozying up to him and whispering in his ear. "I'll kiss you if you get on it."

Louis clenched his jaw and furrowed his brow, pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a deep breath. "Fucking fine, Harry, if it'll get you out of my hair and fucking satisfy you, I'll ride the stupid thing. But if we die, I'll make sure to throw your ass down at the pearly gates."

Louis stood with pursed lips and wide eyes as Harry smirked and stalked over to the line of people in front of the ride. What a fucker he was, thinking he could just make Louis do whatever just by bothering him enough. He was NOT that easy to do things.

But the next thing he knew, he was setting himself down in a little cage being buckled up by this guy with a crooked nose, and a bar was being lowered onto his thighs and he was terrified. What the fuck was he doing.

"Harry, no, I've changed my mind get me out of here I can't do this." He started wriggling and he could feel his throat tightening, but when Harry's hand came into contact with his, he felt like it didn't matter anymore. okay, maybe that was a stretch, but he did seem a little relived once Harry was touching him.

But, of course, all good things must come to an end. In other words, the ride started moving, and the cage was swinging 30 feet into the air and he felt like he was gonna throw up. He had Harry's hand in his own, digging his nails into his knuckles and screaming his head off once the cage flipped upside down.

"HARRY WHAT THE FUCK I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME DO THIS I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF WHAT THE FUCK."

And those were the words Louis was screaming and shouting over and over as the ride went on, Harry laughing like a fucking idiot while Louis sat there suffering, eyes closed and panting and he could feel himself going lightheaded every time they flipped and flipped, and he could feel his heart about to fall from his throat before the ride finally came to a stop. Of course, leaving them at the top hanging upside down for a few seconds before the cage leveled itself.

Louis took a second to catch his breath before finally unlatching his fingers from Harry's hand, and he felt kind of bad when he saw that he left dark red crescents on his skin. But he felt the guilt subside when he remembered that it was his ass who forced him onto this thing.

"I hate you." He mumbled, fixing his hair and grabbing onto the bar when the ride started to move again, but it stopped after a few seconds. "Why did you make me do this I'm never forgiving you."

"I didn't make you do anything." He replied, his curly hair looking wild and his eyes so full of life that it was sickening. "You could've just stayed off, you know."

"No, because then you would've been disappointed and we all know that I can't have that happening." He chewed on his bottom lip as they fell silent, looking down at the ground as the ride moved once again, this time the two of them stopping at the bottom so they could get off.

Louis rushed away as soon as his feet hit the ground, running with wobbly legs over to the closest bench he could reach. He sat down and grabbed onto the metal armrest, taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down. Never again, never again will he get on a ride like that. He already hated heights, and to have the upside-down factor added was so much worse.

He let out a deep breath when he felt Harry's soft touch onto his tense shoulders, leaning his head onto his shoulders and just sitting there for a while. He listened to the sounds of children shouting, and if he didn't feel sick to his stomach he would've loved the smell of the fried food.

"Harry, I am never ever doing anything like that again." He said, articulating each word harshly. He smiled a little when Harry laughed, leaning into him and whispering into his ear,"And I won't 'make' you do anything like that again. I'm sorry."

He felt his heart skip a beat as Harry pressed his warm lips against his cheek, his hands rubbing Louis' shoulders. And Louis just had to look up at him, Harry with his thick lips and pretty eyes and everything. Then, well, he was kind of caught off guard, because Harry's eyes were closing and he was leaning in. And you could probably guess what happened next.

He could feel his stomach flipping and his entire body coming alive, his nerves going on edge and his heart skipping beat after beat and his lungs faltering. It was something he hadn't felt ever before, really. Yeah, he'd had other kisses, but this one... It felt like the first real first kiss he'd ever had.

He had quite a delayed reaction, not responding until after a few seconds. And when he did respond, it all just melded perfectly together, their lips moving slowly but surely against one another's. And then he felt like he should be doing something with his hands instead of leaving them limp on his lap, so he brought them up to Harry's face, cupping his jaw into his hand as they broke for a second.

His face was probably so red and he could feel the goosebumps on his arms but he didn't care, he wanted to do that again. God, he wanted to do that over and over. So he opened his eyes and looked straight into Harry's just before he rushed in for another kiss, their lips pressed together in a perfect form. His lip piercing was sliding against his lip, and he loved kissing people with it in because it just felt cool but. You know.

He was warm all over, his body tingling and his mind just flowing everywhere as Harry's hands rested on his waist, his tender touch only making the whole thing even more intense and all around wonderful.

They finally pulled back after a few more seconds, Louis letting out that breath he was holding in and taking his hands down to cover his cheeks. "What was that for?" He more-so squeaked than said, and he cursed himself for probably sounding like a twelve year old girl.

"Well, a promise is a promise." Harry smiled and let out a breath that was probably supposed to sound like a laugh, and Louis did the same as Harry brought his hands off of his hips and to his own lap.

Louis looked over to the side of Harry's head instead of into his eyes, messing with his nails and swallowing the lump in his throat. He liked that a whole lot, and he felt sort of strange for it because if he told himself months ago that he was going to kiss Harry Styles then he would've beaten himself up and set himself on fire. But it was spectacular, and he found it weird that he was describing a kiss like he would describe fireworks but, it was the only way to describe it.

"I'm sorry, if you didn't want that to happen. I can take it back and we can act like it never happened if you want I'm sorry." Harry rambled out, a pained expression on his face. And it kind of hurt Louis that Harry would even think of needing to apologize for a kiss, let alone a fucking amazing one.

"No, no, Harry. I did want that, don't you dare think that you need to be sorry." He said with a rushed tone, taking Harry's hands into his own and sucking in a breath before leaving a soft peck to his lips. And Harry's smile was the only affirmation that he needed to know that he could do that whenever he wanted, now. And let's just say that's all he wanted to know.

~~~~~

"Look, Harry, it's fine, your mom doesn't have to know." Louis suggested, cocking his head to the side when Harry shook his head no.

"I am not going to lie to my own mother just so I can go on a road trip with you guys."

Louis huffed out a breath and leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms. "Why the fuck did she say no anyways, we're all almost 18 anyways, it's not like it's illegal or something."

"No, but she's afraid we might do something illegal. Also she's not really up for her son traveling across the country for 2 months with a bunch of blokes she's never personally met."

"She's met me." Louis said with hope in his voice, sitting back up for a moment until Harry shook his head, leaving him back on the couch with his chin in his chest. "Harry, if you can't come then nobody can go, what's a band without their drummer? Besides, I don't want to go without you for two whole months." He complained, shaking his head and looking at the other side of the garage.

"Look, Lou, if it was my choice I'd hop right in without a doubt, but I can't just blatantly disobey my mother. I care about her too much, and I wouldn't want to upset her. Also I have my job, and I won't get it back of I quit."

"Harry, please." Louis whined, standing up and going over to where he was in the reclining chair on the other side of the room. "Pleaaaaase?"

He puffed out his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows, holding his hands together under his chin. But sadly, it didn't work, because Harry's face was still blank and he sat as still as possible while Louis begged for him to come.

"Dick." He mumbled under his breath, letting his hands flop to his sides as he sighed. "Well then, I guess the tour's off. All of our fans will be so disappointed to find that we won't be going. And we were just getting popular too."

"Lou-"

He smirked slightly and looked down at Harry, trying to act upset still. "Yes?"

He watched as Harry's expression went soft. "Maybe I can work something out. I don't want you to be upset because of this."

Louis couldn't suppress the grin forming on his cheeks, practically squealing and running up to Harry, throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. "Thank you babe, fuck, thank you!" His cheeks started hurting from how big his smile was, and he was just... so happy, that Harry would compromise for him.

"Am I interrupting something?"

He felt Harry's hands suddenly move away from his body, shoving them in his pockets and backing away. Louis scrunched up his nose and stepped closer to Harry again, wondering he did that. Like, it was just his mom. Not like it was anyone he needed to hide from.

"Nah, we were just talking about the tour and stuff." He replied, kissing his mom on the cheek when she came closer, holding a rag in her hands and wearing her work clothes.

"Did you say yes?" She asked Harry, looking over to him and smiling that prize-winning grin she always wears. Her eyes brightened when he shook his head yeah, shuffling his feet as he did so.

Louis straightened his shirt and ran his hand through his hair, knowing that if they were quiet enough she'd leave the room from the silence. She hated prolonged amounts of quiet, they made her uncomfortable and, well, they were awkward. And just as he had predicted, she cleared her throat and started her way upstairs. "Alright, boys, make sure to tell me when you plan on going so I can get you the materials you need. You know, necessities to sustain human life. Love you boys!"

"Love you too." Louis answered as she disappeared upstairs, the door closing behind.

~~~~~

"Okay guys, so this is the last practice for the month. Because, you know, Alex is going to Ohio for God knows why, and Zayn's visiting his extended family in England or whatever. So, after this we'll all meet here on the 28th for the tour. Alright?"

Louis smiled, satisfied as the boys nodded. He frowned, though, when he saw Zayn rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing, just that we all know how the tour's gonna go."

He put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side, jaw clenched as Zayn spoke. "And how is that?  
 

"You and Harry will be attached to the hip the whole time, and Alex and I will be left on our own. You know, Harry's not the only one in the fucking band."  
 

Louis froze for a second, legitimately hurt that Zayn would say something like that. "Yes, I know Haz isn't the only one. But he is my, you know, boyfriend. So it's kind of inevitable that we'll hang out a lot."  
 

He opened his mouth slightly as Zayn threw his hands in the air and groaned. "See, Louis, we're your friends. You should probably be hanging out with us more. What's been with you lately? Ever since he came into the picture you've been ignoring Alex and I."  
 

Louis looked over to Harry, who was standing there fiddling with his drumsticks and chewing on the inside of his cheek. He hoped that his feelings weren't being hurt from Zayn's harsh words. But it was true. He had been neglecting Alex and Zayn for a while now, but he had reasons. He and Alex weren't even that good of friends in the first place, and Zayn, well. Ever since that night he hadn't been able to see him in the same light.  
 

"Why am I even in this band? You're a fucking prude. Just a douche who only cares about himself." Zayn gritted through his teeth, and that was what had surprisingly set Harry off. He had been so calm the whole time but at those words, he dropped his stick and stomped over to Zayn, looming over him in the garage.  
 

"Take that back." Harry growled, Zayn's expression looking surprised, but not frightened.  
 

"Or what?"  
 

"Or I'll break your arm."  
 

And at that Louis had to wonder, could Harry really break his arm? He didn't know how but, hey.  
 

Zayn only stood by, a taunting look in his eyes and his moves looking calculated and robotic. "Go ahead. Fucking faggot."  
 

Louis' heart broke at that second, the fact that Zayn would even use that word. He knew how it made him feel, how upset it made him. Maybe Zayn wasn't even his friend in the first place. "Harry, come on, back off." Louis said softly, stepping up to Harry and touching his arm slightly. He didn't want a fight to break out.  
 

"Faggot? Am I a faggot now? You're no more one than I am." Louis' breath caught in his throat, looking over to Alex who only stood with his arms crossed, emotionless. He prayed that Harry wasn't going to do what he thought he was, but his hopes were crushed when Zayn asked what he meant.  
 

"You know what I mean. That night that you barged into Louis' house. Terrorizing him. When I found him he was on the couch crying his eyes out because you had tried to rape him you sick fuck. Go to Hell. Go to fucking HELL." Harry shouted as he swung his arm, clocking Zayn right in the eye, And then Zayn started hitting back, the two of them soon on the floor grunting with Louis and Alex standing above, the two of them trying to get them off of each other. Finally, though, they gave in, Louis grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him back away from him.  
 

Louis' heart had stopped long ago, Zayn, getting up and spitting on them before leaving, Alex following behind. "I'm sorry, Lou." Alex said before he left him and Harry in the garage, on the floor in silence.  
 

"Louis-"  
 

"No."  
 

He took a deep breath as Harry's eyebrows furrowed, confused. "Wha-"  
 

"No, Harry. I can't believe you did that. I fucking told you, okay, I told you not to say anything, you knew that I didn't want a fight."  
 

"I'm sorry, but he was trash talking you, Lou, I had to do something"  
 

Louis stood up and fixed his hair, shaking his head down at a bruised and tore up Harry. "I can take fine care of myself, okay. Anything else I wouldn't care, but Haz-. Harry. I told you I didn't want a confrontation about it. Now everything's ruined, the band, the tour. One of the only things that made me happy and that I enjoyed is gone."  
 

He could feel his eyes start to burn, dropping to the floor and burying his head in his knees. He sat there for a second before he could feel Harry's presence leave the room, leaving him cold and alone.  
 

A few minutes later he heard the door open, hoping it was Harry coming back to say sorry and hold him and just make him feel good. But instead he got his mother's warm embrace, whispering in his hair and just holding him there on the floor. And he started to cry. He couldn't believe he was actually crying over this shit, God, he was such a wuss. Couldn't even handle a fight. Maybe he was everything Zayn said. All he did was care about himself and his happiness.  
 

"Are you okay, darling? What happened? Do you want me to make you some tea and put it on Christmas movies?" He had to laugh a bit at his mom's accuracy at what will make him happy, but he nodded, standing up with her and sniffling as he went to the living room and sat down on the couch as his mom  left to make the tea. And when she came back is when he started to crack.  
 

"Like, Harry just said that flat out when I told him specifically not to, but honestly I just feel like I've lost everything. I've lost my friends, my band, my boyfriend, my sanity." He took a tissue and wiped his nose, taking in a stuffy breath before continuing. "Zayn was right. Look at me, I'm crying because of everything I've lost. I honestly don't even care how he or Alex feels. And as for Harry, I don't know what to do. God, I love him so much, I really do, I never even told him that I did before. Never. All I've said is like, You're my baby and shit but like, never I love you. I'm a terrible boyfriend, a terrible person. Fuck, mom, tell me I'm not a bad person."  
 

He could feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes as his mom held him once again, shushing his cries. "No, Louis, you're not a bad person. What're you going to do about Harry? What do you want to happen."  
 

"I honestly..." He sucked in a wet breath. "Honestly want to just stay away for a while maybe. I can't think with him clouding my head, really, if I'm gonna calm myself down ever I just... Need him away for a bit."  
 

So, he told him that. He told him that he needed a little space and all he texted back was okay and Louis felt so shitty because he practically broke up with him via text. 'Broke up', no, they didn't break up. At least, that's what Louis convinced himself. It was the only way to stop him from feeling any worse than he was.  
 

~~~~~  
 

So for the next week at school he avoided him at all costs. He wished that summer would come already so he wouldn't have to feel guilty constantly. He sat on the other side of all of his classes, didn't look Harry's way once. And then it was only one more week until school was over, and he could go home and he could graduate and he could get his life started. But he was just disappointed that Harry wouldn't be able to start it with him. Because that's all he wanted.  
 

But he wasn't ready when he saw Harry walking down the hallway.... with Cassandra at his side. Yeah, Cassandra, the one who was totally in love with Louis and practically stalked him for the longest time. And Harry had his arm around her shoulder.  
 

Man, he didn't even think Harry was into her. And just, he never even saw him talk to her ever, but after that he just knew. He knew that he wasn't even that important if he could be replaced in that short of an amount of time. Damn, he didn't even break up with him, he just said he wanted some space. Well, now he knew what Harry really wanted.  
 

He turned around and stormed out of the building, hoping noone was watching him, because hell, his eyes were red and his heart was heavy and he just wanted it to be over. Ever since Harry came into his life it hd been a constant up and down roller coaster and he wanted off. It wasn't fun anymore, it wasn't even a ride, it was more like being strapped to a chair watching everyone you loved die, and you couldn't do anything about it. And the sad part was: He still loved him, couldn't get over him. The past week he spent in his room crying and listening to the Script and his mom had tried to get him out but he wouldn't leave. He never wanted to leave his room again if this is what he was met with.

You know what, he was probably just overreacting. Like, hey, Harry's just a boy. He shouldn't let him control him like this. It wasn't even that big of a deal. But... it was. He just let Harry leave like that. And for what? Because he lost his 'friends' and his band? Honestly his friends were shit and the band didn't matter anymore. It hadn't even been a week and he needed Harry back. He had to have his arms around his waist, his lips on his neck, his laugh in his ears.  
 

But then again, maybe it was for the best that Harry leaves. Maybe they weren't meant to be. Maybe it really was just a high school fling and they just were not meant to last. And at that realization, Louis took in a deep breath and sighed, collecting himself before heading home. The bell was gonna ring in a few minutes anyways, not like anyone will care.  
 

~~~~  
 

Graduation was two days away, and Louis was ready for it.  
 

He was at the arena, had his cap and gown on. He could feel himself glowing, just knowing that he had done it. He'd beaten high school and everything it had to throw at him, and now he could go to college and study music or something. He almost wanted to cry when he saw him mom's eyes tearing up at the sight of him, her eyeliner smudging slightly and her eyes red.  
 

"My baby... finally there. How does it feel?" She whispered, fixing his hair and straightening his cap.  
 

"Feels good, mom." He replied, sighing and looking around at everyone else and their parents and families. It was almost time for him to go and sit and wait for his name to be called so he could go across that stage and get his diploma. This was one of the biggest days of his life, honestly. After this was everything else, the rest of his life. And he was ready, God, was he ready.  
 

He looked up as the announcer came through the speakers telling the graduates to head to the floor. He gave his mom a kiss and started towards the floor. And he sat down in the seat that he was assigned at rehearsal, and he waited for it to be time. Of course, he couldn't just grab the paper and run, he had to listen to the principal and the other staff and the class president and everything, but after that long while, it was time.  
 

All of the students stood up and lined up alphabetically by the stage, and as each name was called each student walked across, took the diploma, shook the principal's hand and left. He was so excited, he felt like he might;ve thrown up. And when he heard that all too familiar name being called, he probably could've thrown up. Harry waltzed across the stage and smiled that smile, and left, and Louis didn't know how he felt. Like, he was over him yeah, but. It still lingered in the back of his head.  
 

And then just after a few more people was his name called, and he walked up the stairs and sauntered over to what's his face, and took his diploma, and he could've passed out. He had it. He was done. High school was over and he had his papers and he was so proud of himself in that moment. He didn't even need the band or his friends, he had his education and his happiness, and that was good.  
 

After the rest of his peers were called and they were able to stand and talk, he gripped his diploma in his hand, smiling idiotically.  
 

"Louis?"  
 

He looked up and frowned at the curly-haired fellow in front of him, swallowing and speaking shakily. "Yes?"  
 

He closed his eyes as Harry talked, soaking every word into his body. He didn't know what to say, what to do.  
 

"Please, Louis, forgive me. I can't go another fucking second without you, okay, please. I can't believe I just threw you away like that, what I'm most mad at myself about is that I left you there after the fight between me and Zayn. I haven't had you off my mind since, but you were doing so well without me. I didn't want to mess anything else up..."  
 

Louis felt his throat tighten and his world come to a standstill, at least he wished it would so he could fucking process. Why did he have to do this now? Why not wait until, I don't know, after graduation? Why did he need to do this now.  
 

"Harry, please-" He started, but was cut off by Harry's words.  
 

"No, Louis, you please. Look, I don't want to go on any longer unless you're beside me. I hope I'm not too late. I do want a future with you, even if it's not that long, I still want it. I life with you is better than any other life I could have."  
 

And then Louis wanted to cry, and his head hurt and he just wanted to go home and think about this for a while because fuck he wanted Harry back too but he didn't know if he really did. But he remembered that he couldn't just live his life waiting. He had to live in the moment every once in a while. And maybe this was one of those times.  
 

He stood there a second, and then in a split decision grabbed the front of Harry's gown and pulled him down and forced his lips against Harry's, eyes clenched shut and hands sweaty. And he didn't know what happened of if the announcer dude had said for them to throw their hats in the air or whatever, he wasn't paying attention. But every hat rose into the air, and came flying back down and hitting everyone. He didn't even understand that ritual,'Hey! Let's hurt ourselves in celebration of our graduation!'  
 

He pulled back with his eyes still closed and sucked in a sharp breath when he felt Harry's lips on his again, moving slowly, sweetly. It was something he had missed far too much, something he'd wanted for a long while. And he finally had it.  
 

His happiness.  
 

~~~~  
 

"Come on, Haz!" Louis shouted, motioning for him to climb into the back of the van. He laughed as Harry stumbled out with his bags, waving to his mom before heading forward. "How's Cassy and Gem doing?" Louis asked, taking his bags and throwing them into the back as Harry climbed in.  
 

"They're good. I'm glad she wasn't sad about you and I getting back together. Her and Gemma really hit it off."  
 

He nodded and gave Harry a kiss on the cheek before Alex started driving forward, turning up the radio.  
 

After graduation, Alex had convinced Zayn to apologize to the two of them, and they all forgave each other, and promised to have a night a week where all of them went out and had fun. When Harry told Cassy that he and Louis got back together, she kind of just... went with it? And then she met Harry's sister and ll was well from there.  
 

Their first stop was gonna be at the music festival in Detroit, and that was kind of far away, so that night they'd be stopping at a hotel to stay the night and then going on from there. So they rode along, singing to the music, practicing the lyrics to their songs, enjoying life and the fact that they were all able to go along with this. Even if it did start a bit late (a full 2 weeks, at that), it was still worth it. They all wanted to do it, all wanted to start this together.  
 

And that night when they stopped, the motel only had one vacant room with one bed, so Zayn and Alex were gonna share it, and Louis and Harry would sleep in the van. They brought blankets and pillows anyways, so it wasn’t like they were really missing out.  
 

“Night guys, see you tomorrow.” Zayn waved and headed inside with Alex as Louis started to set up the blankets.

“I’m so excited for our first out of state gig.” Louis repeated for probably the millionth time. He couldn’t help it, okay, he really was excited and couldn’t hold it back. “Sorry, just. I’ve been waiting for this for a while, now and… It’s great to finally be able to go through with it.”  
 

“No, it’s fine, Lou. I know you’re eager for it. I am too, honestly.”  
 

Louis beamed at him and gave him a soft kiss to the lips before he lied down on the blanket and covered himself up, feeling Harry’s warmth beside him in the darkness. He was glad the back of the van didn’t have any windows- he’d feel weird if he knew that someone could peer in and just like… watch him sleep.  
 

They lied in silence for a minute, the sound of breathing the only sound in the air. And Louis was pretty sure Harry was asleep, until he heard him talking again. “Louis?”  
 

“Yeah?”  
 

He sat there for a second until Harry started again, his voice faltering a bit. ”Nothing just… You’re amazing and I wish that I had met you sooner.”  
 

Louis giggled and smiled, turning over to look at Harry. His eyes were open and vibrant, and his hair was everywhere but he looked so beautiful. “Same.”  
 

He closed his eyes as Harry leaned in to kiss him, and even though the angle was awkward it was still just as sweet. He brought his hands up to cup Harry’s jaw, and when he tried to break the kiss, Harry only leaned in further, capturing Louis’ lips into his own, the two of them laughing breathily.  
 

He raised his eyebrows when he felt Harry’s tongue poking at his bottom lip, and, well, he liked where this was going. He and Harry had had some nice make-out sessions, and the next one was always better than the last. He opened his mouth slightly and delved his tongue into Harry’s mouth, humming and rubbing his thumb on Harry’s jawline.  
 

He squeaked a little when he felt Harry’s hands on his hips, yanking him closer and holding him against his body. But what he wasn’t expecting was to feel something hard against his thigh, and yeah, he knew exactly what that was.  
 

He pulled back and took in a breath, leaning his head back and groaning. “Harry, fuck.”  
 

His hands were shaking as Harry went for his neck and his collarbones, kissing and licking at his skin as his cock dug into Louis’ thigh. "You want this baby?" Harry murmured into his neck, his hot breath hitting Louis' skin like fire. Fuck, yes, Louis wanted this. God damn did he want this, he didn’t know if this was the ideal setting for the two of them, but he didn’t care. This was the closest and most alone they had been in ages and he was ready for it.  
 

He started to grind his hips against Harry’s, his own cock beginning to harden in his sweats and his head spinning. He felt Harry’s fingers on the skin of his hips, fingerprints practically burning into his flesh as he held on. And Louis just lied there because, well, he wasn’t exactly sure what to do, so he was just gonna do whatever felt good and felt right.  
 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and felt a shiver run down his spine as Harry’s hands glided across his skin to his waist and up his chest, then back down to his hips. He reached a testing hand forward and grabbed onto the fronts of Harry’s boxers, a broken and unsure moan leaving his mouth at the feeling of his bulge.

   
God, he was such a virgin. He wasn’t even ever really into porn goddamnit, the closest he was to having sex ever was with his ex, and they didn’t even get past the whole taking your shirts off. And here he was with Harry, touching him, feeling him, everything he wanted.  
 

He pulled away for a minute and caught his breath, and looked at Harry, whose lips were puffed up and he wished he could really really see him. He turned on a dim light beside him and looked back. “Harry, I’m sorry, but I don’t even know what I’m doing.”  
 

“it’s alright if you don’t want to, Lou, I’m sorry I should’ve made sure-“  
  


“No, it’s alright, I do want to but… I’ve never like… had sex.”  
 

He chewed on his bottom lip and hoped that it wouldn’t like, turn Harry off or something. But Harry only gave him a reassuring grin, scooting closer and whispering on his lips,"Neither have I. Don't worry just do whatever makes you feel good."  
  


Louis whined a little and took Harry’s lips into his own for a kiss, and went straight for his boxers again, humming into the kiss. “God, I want you so badly right now.” He whimpered, rolling on top of Harry and straddling his hips with his own. He didn’t know what to say, how to start. “Uh, do you want to… top or…” He said, unsure, but was hoping it was a good start.  
 

“Whatever you want, babe.”  
 

He thought for a second and licked his lips, nodding. “I want you… to fuck me into next week.” He sighed out, leaning down and leaving a lingering kiss on Harry's lips, a satisfied sound coming from their throats. “Yeah, yeah fuck me okay.” He added, beginning to move his hips on top of Harry. He took his shirt off as Harry did the same, and the sight of Harry's bare chest just riled him up even more.  
 

He moaned loudly as Harry grabbed his ass, and well, he didn’t think that it would feel THAT good but… damn did it make it all so much more intense. He sat back up and ran his hands up Harry’s chest, feeling at his chest and his stomach and, fuck, he didn't know he would love all of this this much.  


He hummed and licked his lips as he let his hands drift down to Harry's boxers again, his heart pounding in his ears and all he could hear was static, but whatever. He wasn't focused on anything except for Harry and the fact that they were actually gonna do this?? It was almost too much for him to fathom.  


He wasn't too sure what to do next, and he tried to have his moves not seem so calculated and shit, but he couldn't help how it turned out. He pulled his boxers down his thighs and fucking choked on air, literally choked at the sight of Harry, because he had seen a select few cocks in his life, none in real real life, and Harry's just looked like it was delicious, and that was a weird way to describe a body part, but. If the shoe fits wear it, right?  


"You wanna suck me off, baby?" Harry asked softly, his hands rubbing the tops of Louis' thighs and Louis just nodded and moved off of him. And he leaned down and tried to steady his breathing, but he just wanted to fucking do it, so he leaned forward and wrapped his lips around the head of his cock, and honestly he thought it would be better than it was but, eh. For a first blowjob he thought it didn't feel that weird.  


He licked around the tip before he moved down a little, trying to keep his teeth out of the way because by the way his friends had always described it, it was like Hell fire when someone just drug their teeth along your shaft. So he kept on, feeling a bit helpless, because the sounds coming from Harry were turning him on so fucking much, the small groans and grunts he was letting out, and the way his eyes were shut blissfully and his hands were grabbing his head and he was just. Wow. And that's when Louis realized he really loved having his hair pulled.  


Louis whimpered himself and brought one of his hands down to palm himself through his sweats, knowing that he was making Harry feel good just made him feel all the more horny, and thought he hated using that word, it was the only thing that could tell how he felt right now. Just horny and hot and bothered.  


He pulled off after another second, taking a breath and pumping his hand up and down his shaft for minute before he went back down, taking in a sharp breath when Harry flinched, a lengthy moan leaving him as he gripped onto Louis' hair as tight as he could. Louis went down as far as possible and pulled himself back up, taking a deep breath after he finally pulled off for the last time.  


"Fuck, Lou."  


He looked at Harry and wiped the spit dribbling off his chin. He felt himself shudder as Harry grabbed his hips, manhandling him and flipping them over so he was on top. "I brought some.. some lubricant just in case." And when Harry said that, Louis whined and reached both of his hands down to the front of his sweats, rubbing himself and trying not to moan too loudly because he had never felt so turned on in his life, and he just wanted Harry to pound him like nobody's business right then.  


He felt his hand being moved up to his chest, and had to moisten his mouth against after a second because he was panting like a fucking dog and his pants were being pulled down and just- Jesus fucking Christ. And soon enough were his pants off of his ankles and to the side with his boxers, and his legs were being spread and he knew what was gonna happen next.  


"Are you comfy, baby?" Harry asked in a gentle voice, thumbing at the inside of Louis' thighs and Louis was just so enamored with this boy and he was asking him about his own comfort in the middle of all of this and Louis didn't care if he was lying on the street, he wanted Harry whatever way he could. But, his lower back was hurting a bit at the angle, so he told him. And Harry took one of his pillows and settled it under Louis' back, and he felt so good right then that he could've just fallen asleep. But then he remembered that Harry was looking down at his naked body, and he felt his cheeks go red and his heart freezing in his ribcage.  


Louis wasn't even paying attention for a little while, and was legitimately surprised when he felt a cold slick finger prodding at him. He gasped and let out a little "oh" every few seconds, grabbing onto his own hair as he spread his legs further. "You ever done this before?" Harry asked, voice low and quiet. And Louis nodded, because yeah, he'd fingered himself quite a few times to be honest, but it felt so different when it was someone else doing it. It felt so much more... romantic? Or something like that.  


He bit down on his lower lip and whimpered as Harry pressed in a second finger, crooking them upwards and scissoring them and Louis never wanted it to end. "More.. more, please-fuck" Louis cried, his entire body shaking once Harry managed to hit that one spot inside of him that he could never quite reach, and it left him moaning excessively and rocking himself onto Harry's fingers. He was 110% sure that he was rocking the van, and was even more sure that if anyone was outside that they could hear him, but he could've cared less. They parked a little ways away from the hotel, away from most cars, also it was approximately one in the morning, so the probability of someone coming by was 1 in 1,000,000.  


He covered up his own mouth when Harry added a third finger, because that was a stretch for him at least, the furthest he had ever gone was two fingers. "O-ooh my god-" He let out in a wavering voice, eyes flying open and his entire body just feeling on edge. "Oh- fuck, come on, come on, just fuck me already, please." He nearly begged, and then after a few tantalizingly slow thrusts of his fingers inside of him, Harry finally let up and took them out, wiping them on his shirt.  


Louis felt like he might've been acting a little dramatic with his moans and shit, but, it just felt right. They didn't feel forced, really, with all of the adrenaline running through his veins, Louis didn't even know if he'd remember this the next morning. He was just high as hell, high on Harry, his skin, his smell, his body, everything. He lied back and closed his eyes as Harry prepared himself, and when he felt Harry pushing himself into his ass, he almost screamed. Not in pain, though, fuck no. In pure undeniable pleasure.  


He couldn't even make a noise, only grabbed onto Harry's arms and gripped tight as he felt himself being filled up, one of Harry's hands on the blanket below them and the other holding onto his hip, as if he would've run away if he let go. Louis let out a few wobbly breaths with Harry before they were settled comfortably, and then they started going at it. He held onto Harry as if he was taking the ride of his life, and leaned his head back and moaned filthily. "Fuck, Harry- fuck, come on." He breathed out, taking one of Harry's hands and leading it up his chest until finally he got the message, and pinched at one of his nipples slightly.  


Louis whined, eyebrows and nose scrunched up and his heart going at a mile a minute and his head was pounding and he felt so damn good. He didn't know what to do with himself, didn't know what to say. And then he remembered those words that he never got to tell Harry, and now might've felt like the best time to say them, so. "Ohhmy God, Harry. God, I love you. I love you Iloveyou I love you." He rambled on, cradling his hand around Harry's neck and pulling him down for a kiss. And once their lips touched, everything felt complete, connected, something. It felt right, there was nothing left.  


And Harry was the one to break the kiss, groaning and thrusting his hips forward, each time making a slapping noise against Louis' skin. "Love you too, love you so much baby." He grunted out, latching his lips to Louis' neck and suckling on his skin. Louis smiled and nodded, almost laughing, because he'd been waiting to say that for a long time. And those this may not have been the ideal place for them to have sex, or tell each other those few words, it felt like it didn't matter. Because they had each other, and that's all they needed.  


Louis could feel himself on fire, toes curling and muscles feeling weak, and after a few more thrusts, and a few more mumbles of "I love you" under their breaths were they both coming. Louis came first, the sound of Harry's wanton moans carrying him off the edge, his seed covering his stomach as he cried out, riding himself through his orgasm. And then went Harry, saying fuck repeatedly under his breath as he pulled out, jacking himself off over Louis' body until his own cum was falling on top of Louis'. Louis didn't know how he felt about this anymore, about everything. He had just made love with his one and only true love, and they were about to be off to spend the summer together, playing together and loving together. And yeah, Louis cared about the others, but Harry. He just completed it all. His life, his dreams.  


And if you had asked Louis months ago that he would be spending his summer, maybe even the rest of his life, with his soulmate?  


He wouldn't have believed you.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, now that I've calmed down, I'd just like to say that I'm not looking for criticism or anything on this, I wrote it and am posting it for my own enjoyment. Also sorry I had to have a smut scene I'm a filthy person I know


End file.
